Kombucha = Yum. Alcohol = Yum. Alcoholic Kombucha = 🤢

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The moment I heard about alcoholic kombucha, I went on the hunt for it! I am your typical kombucha-chugging hipster and rave about my favorite flavors to anyone who will listen. While the best kombucha I have ever tasted was from a small local company, I do love G.T.’s Synergy and drink it regularly. When I saw their Divine Grape bottle in the local liquor store, I had to buy it. Biggest. Regret. Ever.

I realized recently that I only write good reviews. This isn’t just because I like to be nice; I’m just pretty easy to please. For me to have a strong negative opinion, something has to be REALLY bad. Like Divine Grape kombucha. As I already mentioned, I am pretty tolerant of things that taste just okay. I’ve managed to enjoy nearly-spoiled wine, mediocre beer and I hate to waste so I usually finish whatever I start. I couldn’t drink more than one sip of Divine Grape and I tried to get other people to drink it but no one liked it. It was sad but we ended up pouring it down the drain. Sorry G.T.’s Synergy, I love literally all your other products. Especially Strawberry Lemonade and Trilogy, mmmmhmmmm.

I’m not just here to hate on this one drink. Although this is the first official alcoholic kombucha, it turns out that literally all kombucha is slightly alcoholic! Yes, even my Strawberry Lemonade. The popular Netflix show You even has an alcoholic character who drinks kombucha as his gateway to alcohol. The alcoholic content of “non-alcoholic” kombuchas is anywhere between 0.5% and 2%. While Divine Grape and the other ‘must be over 21 to buy’ variants have over 2%.

This isn’t supposed to scare you, since it’s really not that much alcohol. In Europe, where I’m originally from, non-alcoholic beer, which people sometimes order for their children in pubs, can contain just as much alcohol. It would take an incredible amount of kombucha to get drunk. You would probably have other problems if you drank enough of it to even get tipsy.

However, G.T.’s SYNERGY is responsible and does have a disclaimer on every single bottle. It says, “Kombucha is a fermented tea that has naturally occurring alcohol. Do not consume if you are avoiding alcohol due to pregnancy, allergies, sensitivities, or religious beliefs.” I do wonder how it works in countries like the Czech Republic, where there is a zero-tolerance policy on drinking and driving. Seriously, you can’t even use certain mouth washes because you could get a fine.

Anyways, let me know what you thought of Divine Grape in the comments below. Writing this article made me realize that there are other alcoholic flavors! Even though I hated this one, I am totally open to trying the others.

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