Glitter can be a beautiful thing, or your worst nightmare. Especially when it ends up in one of the 5 places you CAN put glitter but shouldn’t. Personally, I am anti-glitter because it is super harmful to the environment and can be a health hazard. A lady literally lost her eye because glitter from her makeup got stuck in it. But I am not here to lecture, but rather tell you what humans have managed to do with glitter. Although I must add a disclaimer: just because you CAN do something, doesn’t mean you should!
1. Vaginas
Pretty Woman Inc is a company that claims to sell ‘unique feminine products for your comfort.’ One of these products is Passion Dust. Marie Claire wrote an article about this product back in 2017 and it included warnings from doctors about using it. Anyway, I’m here to inform not lecture you on glitter safety. I also can’t explain Passion Dust better than its creators, so here goes:
Passion Dust Magiculate Capsules are a novelty product item for women. An alternative to wearing panty liners to prevent discharge stains and underwear damage caused by vaginal acidity. Passion Dust is the first product of it’s kind EVER. That is also part of the reason people are freaking out over over Passion Dust, because there is no other product created by a woman for women for this issue. Passion Dust is a small sparkleized capsule that dissolves when you insert it into your vagina the magiculate formula inside the capsule mixes with your vaginal fluid so that whenever you have a natural discharge it will sparkle. The result is what we call “magicum”.
Pretty Woman Inc
In the thorough Q&A section on their website, they include some tips and warnings. Including this one: “Women who perform oral sex on a male partner AFTER using Passion Dust during sex may experience the feeling of small granules in their mouth. If you are going to perform oral sex on your male partner we advise pleasing him first. Before he goes in, not after.”
An Accidentally Fancy Vagina
Not everyone who has a sparkling vagina ended up that way on purpose. I found this gem on Reddit and I thought I’d share it with you:
Your Vagina Is Perfect the Way It Is
I know I said I wouldn’t lecture, but please let me just say one thing. Women shouldn’t feel shamed into buying any sort of products to improve how their vagina looks, smells or tastes. Other than the health issues associated with them, it is just a little ridiculous that women are made to feel inadequate – especially about the body part that is literally responsible for giving life. Ever heard of men putting sparkles on their penises to please the ladies? I didn’t think so. Jane from The Bold Type says it the best (NSFW – she talks about her Little Jane):
2. Beverages
My entire inspiration for this article came from ads for edible glitter that I keep seeing on Facebook. Glitter makes champagne, cocktails, your coffee and even a plain old glass of water seem more fancy. Surprisingly enough there are various companies that sell edible glitter. One of them is Brew Glitter.
“Brew Glitter® is the original edible glitter for beer, cocktails, wine & any other beverage! The only edible glitter that is vegan, gluten free, is Kosher Certified and uses only FDA approved ingredients!”
Brew Glitter
Currently they are featuring their summer collection. Prices start at $34.99 USD for a 4-pack of 4g Jars of edible glitter in green, orange, sky blue and yellow. They have other colors and sell larger packs. The photos on their website are absolutely gorgeous. Half a 4g jar of Brew Glitter (0.7g) should be used per liter so $35 will allow you to bedazzle 8 liters (2 gallons) of liquid.
I have so many questions. How is this possible? Can it REALLY be edible? How is it FDA approved? Also, and most importantly, will this make your pee/poop sparkle? If not, there’s a special product just for that.
3. Poop – 5 Places You CAN Put Glitter But Shouldn’t
We’ve all seen the cute memes where unicorns poop out rainbows and sparkles. Well now you can too! But again, the operative word is ‘can.’ The concept went viral because someone on Etsy was selling glitter pills. I found a listing like this, although I have no idea if it is the original. In any case, it clearly states that the pills are NOT edible.
It turns out that there are sparkling pills marketed for human consumption. They happen to be made of gold and the creator, Tovias Wong, sells them for $425. He claims that they are analogous to our culture’s obsession with luxury and consumption. They are described as 24K gold leaf capsules that can transform your innermost parts into chambers of wealth.
While Wong’s golden poop pills were created satirically, people do actually eat gold. What sort of foods can be infused with gold, you may ask? Pretty much anything. No, I’m not kidding.
4. Eyeballs
No, I’m not talking about the thousands of women who regularly get glitter in their eyes from their makeup. There are people who voluntarily perform dangerous surgeries to bling-out the windows to their souls. You may have seen this on the news, but about seven years ago an eye doctor in Manhattan inserted some artificial sparkle into an eyeball and people went crazy about it.
I borrowed the image above from US News. They have a great article about this bizarre and dangerous trend. This surgery costs a whopping $3,000! However, since we don’t see many people walking around like this, I assume that it was banned… for obvious reasons.
“Manhattan ophthalmologist Emil William Chynn says he’s performed approximately 20,000 corrective eye procedures. On Nov. 6, Chynn did something different: he implanted a piece of platinum jewelry beneath the surface of a patient’s eye.”
US News
It turns out that Emil William Chynn offered to do charity surgeries for people who need a pick-me-up. He later take-back his offer since this surgery is super expensive. He suggested that the media find someone who needs some cheering up and he would do it for free – as long as the patient was okay with the surgery being filmed. Eye see what Chynn was really trying to do there.
5. Your Enemy’s Home or Office
Yes! We’re finally not talking about putting glitter INTO a human body. That is not something I ever expected to be relieved about. Anyway, we discussed how glitter CAN (not should) make things or people supposedly prettier. But unwanted glitter is literally a nightmare! That’s why Ship Your Enemies Glitter was born.
Yes, you read that right. For $9.99 (with some fun add-ons) you can cover your enemy in glitter. Last time I looked into this, for research purpose only of course, they did not have the option of biodegradable glitter. So if you plan on doing this to someone you absolutely despise, please consider paying extra to protect the planet. It will still be super annoying and torturous to clean up, I promise.
Summary
There is a place and time for glitter (mixed in with the flames of hell for example.) All of the examples above are simply 5 of the places you CAN put glitter. But honestly, you probably shouldn’t put it anywhere. It is bad for the environment and for your body. Call me the glitter police if you want, I simply tell it like it is. And if I suddenly get angry glitter bomb mail, well, I’m impressed with your stalking abilities. Also, PLEASE make it biodegradable, I’m a big tree-hugger in case you haven’t noticed.
Don’t forget to follow The Travel Bug Bite for more mess-free sparkling content!
Bonus Jewelry
I am not completely anti-glitter. I agree that it’s pretty and I love to be sparkly. Check out these handmade glittery, shiny, and sparkling earrings on Oddity Cart Earrings but PLEASE DO NOT consume them or stick them in any hole that isn’t in your earlobe and designated for earrings.
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