Full disclosure – I am a total nerd and would buy every single insanely expensive and nerdy gift on this list, if I had the money. Unfortunately, I don’t, but it’s still fun to browse and see what’s out there! If you’re a broke nerd like me, maybe you’ll enjoy this list of super expensive but awesomely nerdy items currently for sale on Etsy!
All of these items, though very expensive, are totally worth the money, by the way. I’m not here to shame anyone for being overpriced! This is all really cool stuff!
1. Legend of Zelda link to the past light world map cross stitch ($4,995)
I have probably beaten A Link to the Past at least 50 times in my life. It’s one of my all-time favorite games. That’s why, when I saw this cross stitched Light World Map of Hyrule, my heart melted. The level of detail is amazing. As a crafter myself, I have dabbled in cross stitch, and it totally makes sense to use images from old games, since each pixel can represent one cross on the pattern – you can achieve some impressive results! When I win the lottery, I’ll totally pick this up if it’s still available.
2. Super Mario LEGO Tower Light ($3,125)
Another franchise I have over-played in my life is Super Mario Brothers. The nostalgia I feel whenever I see anything Mario-related is intense, especially about older games for NES and SNES. That’s why I would kill to have this Mario LEGO Tower Light in my bedroom. What a great way to greet the day – turning on this super nerdy, 35-inch lamp. I would have trouble not saying “Let’s-a go!” every time I turned it on. Maybe I could rig a smart speaker to do that?
3. Original Painting Sonic Mania ($879.99)
Ermagerrd, this painting. Done with markers, paint and inking pens, it claims to feature every single character on the sonic universe. I would love to put this next to my Hyrule Light World map! I’ve mostly only played the classic Sega Genesis Sonic games, but in my opinion those are the only ones worth playing. Not sure how these people are getting away with profiting off of these characters, but I don’t care! I want it!
4. DragonBall Z Resin Figure Shenlong Porunga Namek ($866.77)
DragonBall Z rivals Zelda in my all-time favorite series of anything at all. I grew up watching episodes of DBZ over and over to the point where I could recite entire dialogues. To be honest, the Namek saga was never my favorite because I felt like it dragged on at times, but this handmade Resin Figure of Porunga, Namek’s Eternal Dragon, is awesome AF.
5. Crisis Core style Buster Sword from Final Fantasy 7 (Cloud Strife’s) Handmade, full-scale, all steel construction. ($6,699)
Final Fantasy VII is yet another game that is extremely close to my heart. When FFVII Remake finally came out, I put 100 hours into it in a month or so. I’ve probably beaten the original 20+ times and unlocked every secret the game has to offer. That’s why, if I had the money, I would totally grab this 45-pound full-scale replica of Cloud Strife’s Buster Sword. This one is apparently made to order, as opposed to mass-produced and resold, hence the price. My brother actually has one of these, but I think this one is much higher quality.
I wonder if they sell materia to put in the two slots?
6. Millennium Falcon, from Star Wars, Custom made, 21×29 w/lites, Made to Order ($900)
No nerdy list is complete without something out of Star Wars. Apparently, the creator of this Millennium Falcom model started with a simple Hasbro model and made it more detailed using 3D-printed resin pieces. I love Star Wars, but I’m not sure what I would do with this. It’s still super cool though! Maybe if you had a house with a high ceiling, you could suspend it to make it fly! Or just keep it there with the Force. (I know, I know. “That’s not how the Force works!”)
7. Harry Potter Hogwarts Houses Book Folding Completed 4 book Set. Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin ($9,000)
For the Ultimate Harry Potter nerd! At first glance, I thought these were wooden bookends representing each house, but upon reading the description I discovered that they are actually carved out of books themselves. The photos don’t quite show what they look like closed, but they look pretty cool opened up. I probably wouldn’t drop nine Gs on this myself, but someone out there might!
8. Captain Jean-Luc Picard Portrait ($9,000)
To be honest, I would not be in the least bit surprised if there was someone out there who wanted an ultra-real oil painting of Patrick Stewart as Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Personally, I’m good with keeping my 3-month’s salary and going without it, but who knows? There are some nerdy rich people out there! Want to buy this awesome painting? “Make it so.“
9. It “Pennywise” Stained Glass Art ($2,500)
Got a window in your house that doesn’t scare the crap out of you? Grab yourself this stained glass window of Pennywise the clown! Not my cup of tea, but still super cool. It’s 22×14 inches, so would probably fit in most windows. Or if you happen to have a storm drain in your house, you could put it down there. Don’t worry, it won’t sink. After all, “We all float down here!”
Bonus – Custom Wood Round Hobbit -Like Door ($5,000)
You thought I was going to get through this list without mentioning the Lord of the Rings, didn’t you. Think again! For the (actually quite reasonable) price of $5,000, you can transform the door of your house into a Hobbit-hole door. Apparently it’s built for a green house, and is 6’7″ in diameter. I guess you have to rig it to your own door yourself. But hey, wouldn’t it be worth it to be able to invite someone to Elevensies in your hole in the ground?
Summary – Insanely Expensive Nerdy Gifts on Etsy
Etsy is a marketplace where you can get just about anything. It especially caters to the nerdy and craft, and you can spend your entire life’s savings turning your home into a elaborate nerd-cave with a hobbit-hole door. If you don’t feel like spending thousands of dollars, you can find plenty of nerdy gifts on our own Etsy site, Everyfelt.
Found any other crazy expensive and nerdy gifts, whether on Etsy or elsewhere? Let us know in the comments!
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