Alligator pears are delicious and I could eat them every day if I could. You may wonder why I am referring to avocados as alligator pears? I’ll get to that soon because this article will be all about avocados! Scroll to the end if you’re only here for the earrings, but I definitely recommend that you stay for the show.
Avocado Means Testicle
Apologies for the unladylike language but I’m just stating facts. The word avocado comes from Nahuatl and it means testicle. It is believed that the name came from the shape of the avocado fruit. Although it could have been influenced by the fact that avocados are aphrodisiacs! Move over slimy oysters, eat avocados on your next date.
“Nahuatl is a language or group of languages of the Uto-Aztecan language family. Varieties of Nahuatl are spoken by about 1.7 million Nahua peoples, most of whom live in central Mexico. Nahuatl has been spoken in central Mexico since at least the seventh century CE.”Wikipedia
People go as far as claiming that guacamole means testicle juice. Snopes explains that, while avocado does mean testicle, guacamole doesn’t mean testicle juice. A blogger who writes about all things Nahualt goes deeper into this, so please check this out because I can’t stand to write “testicle” one more time.
The Avocado Was Once Called An Alligator Pear
Avocados have been part of the Mesoamerican diet for thousands of years. There is evidence found of their consumption 10,000 years ago! Mesoamerican tribes like the Inca, the Olmec and the Maya grew domesticated avocado trees. In the 16th century, Spanish explorers became the first Europeans to eat avocados.
“Sir Hans Sloane, an Irish naturalist, is believed to have coined the word “avocado” in 1696, when he mentioned the plant in a catalog of Jamaican plants. He also called it the “alligator pear-tree.”Avoseedo
Avocados do have a pear shape, but alligator? I guess the peel looks a little bumpy like an alligator? Whatever the reason, it makes cute memes.
Grand Theft ‘Cado
If only this was a video game spin-off of Grand Theft Auto. Turns out that three men tried to take advantage of the rising prices and stole $300,000 worth of avocados. Can you imagine how much guacamole that would make? I’m drooling as we speak.
These notorious criminals had also illegally sold other fruits and vegetables. Joseph Valenzuela, 38, of Santa Paula, Carlos Chavez, 28, of Oxnard and Rahim Leblanc, 30, of Oxnard were arrested with a bail of $250,000 per person. It would take a lot of avocados to pay those three bails. Read more about this bizarre crime here and beware of stolen fruit!
Conquistador Used Seeds for Ink
Conquistadors were the knights, soldiers and explorers of the Spanish Empire and the Portuguese Empire. During the Age of Discovery, conquistadors sailed beyond Europe to the Americas, Oceania, Africa, and Asia, conquering territory and opening trade routes.
“The conquistadors discovered that avocado seeds produce a milky liquid that turns red when exposed to air. They used this as a natural ink, and some documents written with it are preserved to this day.”The Daily Meal
Studio Artisjok has a great guide for you to try this at home yourself. The photo below is stolen from their website. Does this count as an avocado crime? Maybe. Guess I’ll make some guacamole to bribe police officers with just in case.
High in Potassium, Fiber and Antioxidants
In addition to being an aphrodisiac and making people think of testicles – wellp, I said it again – they are incredibly healthy. They contain even more potassium than bananas! At least according to this article.
Avocados are more than just a fruit, they are a popular thing to turn into toys, games and earrings (see below). You can’t be a true avocado fan without owning this special knife, an avocado cookbook and of, course, avocado oil to replace your less healthy cooking oils. Plus, this avocado tree growing kit is a great gift for your avocado-obsessed friends.
Finally: Avocado Earrings
Yes, I sell avocado earrings in my Etsy store, Everyfelt. I may be self-promoting but I also wear these myself, like ALL THE TIME!